Peeing with a view


I love it when something spontaneous, crazy, and funny happens. This afternoon I was lucky enough to be a part of such an event and I would like to share it with you.

It happened when we were on the way back from Wildpark Rosegg with our friends whom I will call Mark and Arthur, for the sake of discretion 😉 We were driving and the three of us were keeping quiet because Mark was in the middle of a very important conversation over Skype with somebody from Taiwan (yes, Taiwan). But as is very common with technology, to let you down when you need it most, Mark started losing signal. Besides, Rosegg is not really the most Skype-over-the-phone friendly area. So we had to pull over when Mark detected a 3G zone again, like good friends would do. All okay so far.

Then the conversation started getting very long. Derek leaned back, got himself a pillow, and started snoozing. I was checking my Instagram. And Arthur…well Arthur felt that the nature is calling. This is how the conversation went from here:

Arthur: “I think I will need a bathroom.”

No response from anyone.

Arrhur, after a few more minutes: “Derek, you will need to drive me somewhere to pee. Derek? Is he sleeping?”

Derek (yawns): “No I’m not… Can’t you just go here?”

Arthur, looking out of the window: “There are not enough trees.”

Derek: “Yes there are, look!”

Arthur: “No, they are too thin. Let’s drive somewhere else.”

Me: “We can’t. Mark is on the phone. He will lose signal.”

Derek (always has plenty of “practical” ideas to solve problems): “Let’s leave Mark here and take Arthur to the bathroom and come back. Mark, can you step out?”

Mark starts finishing the conversation. The rest of us start yelling all over: “No, you don’t need to finish! Just get out of the car!” Mark doesn’t get it so Derek starts the car and drives for about 50 m, while I try to make him stop the car for Mark conversation’s sake. No point-the road ends here. Mark continues talking on the phone.

Derek: “There you go. You can go now. See the wall? There behind.” I look out. The scenery hasn’t exactly changed in 50 m. Except that we are now parked in front of a house.

Arthur expresses his concerns: “It’s not private enough here. I feel exposed.” I’m already laughing out loud now at how difficult it is to satisfy such a basic need: to pee. I always thought men can just go behind any tree. And there are many trees here. Actually we are surrounded by woods. But Arthur is not moving, so I suggest we take off and look for a place by the road. How helpful and balancing I am!

After a few minutes we have left behind the Wildpark and the town of Rosegg and the road starts hitting the woods again. Arthur is very pleased with the sight and Derek pulls the car over again. Literally, he just pulls over at the side of the road, and I am very happy we own a SUV. Arthur is finally happy with the setting and he jumps out of the car and disappears in the wood. Surprisingly, Mark was able to hold a connection all this time.

Arthur comes back with a big smile on his face.

“Was it okay now?” I inquire.

“It was perfect! There is a beautiful lake behind there, you should see how nice it is.”

And so it was. Arthur relieved himself in the most beautiful private spot in Rosegg, Mark successfully finished his call to Taiwan, and Derek and me felt grateful for having such special friends.



2 thoughts on “Peeing with a view

  1. Man! What a tense story. But I really enjoyed in it. I don’t know why. Maybe the pee maintained tension.
    And I love happy ending stories and movies . . .
    Goran the dad

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