Do you know the feeling when you and your partner engage in an activity you are both passionate about? Be it playing music, working out, cooking, fashion, whatever it is that you enjoy doing together, the effect it has on you is equally good: you feel excited, happy, your heart is warm, you feel drawn to your partner, and ultimately: the bond of love you share is strengthened.
Now let’s imagine a different scenario. Your partner has a passion of his own-which he does, because you have not married your clone-and he would like you to share in it. It may be that this passion of his (I will be using the male form from now on because I’m a woman;-) ) has got nothing to do with your interests and likes. You may feel like yawning just thinking about engaging in it. You cannot possibly imagine that you could enjoy sharing this with him.
You now have two options: Number one is the easy one. You simply don’t make an effort and leave him doing his thing. Number two is more challenging: you could make that effort and join him! What would the results of both choices be?
The result of option Nr 1 is more profound than you might think at first. If your partner really has a passion, he is likely spending a considerable amount of his time on it. If you’re never joining him, this unfortunately means time away from you. We are all allowed, and should have, our own interests and passions, and that is why we need to allow our partners to spend time doing what they like. That is how they grow as persons and develop their personalities. Again, if he is always doing it alone, you are not growing together. You are not becoming more alike, more connected, you are not getting to know your partner’s unique characteristics better. A loving spouse though, will try to include his partner in his passions. If he is trying, you should be happy that he is so considerate, and not outright reject the invitation just because you find what he’s doing boring. Remember, by doing so, you are rejecting the possibility to spend time with him, to get to know him better, to grow together (as irrelevant as his hobby might seem to you).
The results of option Nr 2, on the other hand, are very rewarding. In fact, if you do make an effort, you have a chance of experiencing all the good things stated in the intro! Yes, you can feel excited about what you are doing, because you are stepping out of your comfort zone; you can feel proud of yourself for doing this, thus boosting your self-confidence; you can feel happy because you are doing something loving for your partner (these are not just words, giving really does make happy!). In turn, your partner will be very grateful and will be more inclined to do things you like next time. Because you are doing things together, trying to please each other, your love will grow. Perhaps you will even find your partner’s hobby to be pretty cool after all! If not, you can still find pleasure by focusing on the good results just mentioned.
I try to choose option Nr 2 regarding my husband’s big passion, remote-controlled flying objects, at least from time to time. It’s important to do things I like too, but from time to time sharing in Derek’s passions is important for me. And it can also be a lot of fun 😉
This is what we did today:
What do you think about sharing in your partner’s passions? Feel free to comment bellow!
Have a great weekend!